So this CamHi thing is giving me an interesting glimpse into Peter's life. When he said he never goes out anymore or sees people, he really meant it. Whenever I tune in, he's always sitting in a chair watching tv, or on his computer. I'm watching right now and he's currently asleep in his chair.

I hate that he's resigned himself to this. He has cancer that he will eventually die from, but he's not dead yet. He could be going out and doing things before he can't anymore. He's only 55. It's kinda sad watching him shuffle around his house. I feel like I'm intruding when I press the mic button to talk to him.

We talked this morning, and one thing he told me is that he has some of my videos still saved on a harddrive somewhere! He said there's one I made with one of my dogs. I can't believe he still has them after all this time. He remembered that he once sent me a copy of the movie Casablanca, I unfortunately had to break the news to him that I lost it. Which I did, I let Chad's mom borrow it when he and I were still together, I wanted to get it back after we broke up, but I felt weird about going there. Then she passed away, so then I really couldn't get it back. Arrgh.

I wish I had the money to fly to see him. He seems so lonely and looks sad. I wish I could be there for him in person so he has someone to talk to.

Yesterday when we talked on facetime, he showed me his VR headset. He asked if I had one, and when I said no, he said it was too bad because then we could "meet" Awww.

11:24 a.m. - Sunday, Dec. 18, 2022