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2003-02-16 - 6:15 p.m.
haha I found this thing through some dudes diary where you can make a letter to dump your boyfriend or girlfriend. So, I made one up and it's hilarious. I'll save it in case I ever get dumped by a guy (yeah right, I can't even get a guy to LOOK at me)

Dear Thimble Dick,

By the time you read this, I'll be maxing out your Visa. I'm sorry for doing this but, you left me no other choice. I know this might comes as a bit of a brain aneurysm to you - especially because you're an emotional cripple. But I'm sorry I just need hot sex with someone who isn't a human potato sack. I think you're a psychopath, but I don't think we're right for each other. First of all, we're not compatible. You're a Leo, and I'm vastly superior to you. You like declawed rodentia colonics, you eat with your feet, and enjoy defrauding the elderly, and I don't like any of these things. Your favorite movie is Glitter, and your favorite band is The Partridge Family. Do you even know what my favorite movie or band is? I once asked you what color my eyes are and you said "Nuke me some fucking hash browns!". Anyway, I want to date the first drunk barfly who'll talk to me. But you know what? I still want to be dead to you. We can totally forget the other is alive . We had some good times, or so you told me . But please, don't get all John Wayne Gacy like last time. That means no botched suicide attempts. And look - I won't even make an issue out of the $100 you owe me, or the fact that you cheated on me. So take care of yourself - and choke on your own vomit.

Eat Shit,

Melissa

P.S. Its barely 4 inches - much less six.

HAHA!! I saw How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. It was really funny. There was a preview for this new Jim Carrey movie called Bruce Almighty which looked HILARIOUS!!! I bought My Big Fat Greek Wedding today too!



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