I'm sorry for not updating for awhile. Up to this point nothing has been going on. But now everything is being thrown at me all at once.

Last month my cousin passed away in the worst way possible. He had epilepsy. He went out one morning to go fishing, had a seizure, fell forward into the water and drowned. He was only 21. He had JUST posted on facebook the day before talking about how much fun he had going camping.

I lost a friend to pancreatic cancer. He went to the hospital thinking it was his gall bladder, only to find out that it was cancer. 5 weeks and 4 days. That's all it took. From the time he found out he had cancer, to him passing away from it. It's so fucking hard to wrap my head around. Pancreatic cancer is a bitch, it's a fast killer and most don't know they have it until it's too late. My grandma died from it.

I still think about Peter. I keep trying to forget him. But I can't. It makes me sad. I had a dream about him last night. I dreamt that I showed up at his place and when he answered the door, he was so happy to see me that he grabbed me and hugged me so hard, all while saying "it's really you!". I wish that could have happened in real life :(

Aaron has the flu. It came outta nowhere. Yesterday he said his stomach was upset and by last night he was throwing up. Still throwing up today. I hate hearing and seeing people vomit. So I've basically been stuck in the other room, giving him his space. I keep asking if he's okay or if there's anything I can do, and he got mad at me and told me that I can stop asking him questions and let him be for now.

Sigh. So yeah that's what has been going on in my life. Not much. I hate to keep bringing Peter up. But I miss him. I wish we were still friends and I wish things would have worked between us.

12:06 p.m. - Monday, Nov. 01, 2021