It's 5:30am and I'm still awake. Why? Who the fuck knows. I've been thinking about my old friend Peter A LOT lately. I used to write about him in here quite often. We were very close until we...weren't. I honestly miss him SO much. I miss the friendship I had with him and I hate how things ended.

For those of you who are coming across this randomly, Peter was a man I met on AFF, he lives in the UK. We struck up a friendship. Sometimes we would flirt. We never met in person, but we used to talk online ALL the time. He became a good friend. He ended up meeting a woman and getting married. She kept messaging me on facebook asking questions about me and how I knew Peter and what we'd talk about. I got annoyed. I did something stupid and messaged her one day to say that, yes I DO still talk to him in case she was wondering. That was it. Peter found out and said never to contact him again.

It's been so long since we talked. I've tried reaching out to him a few times over the years, but nothing. Tonight I sent him an email to say hello. This one will likely go ignored too. Why do I even care? Why am I bothering?

I hate how it ended. I just want my friend back. I miss him. I miss how we would just talk for hours. About everything. We exchanged letters and Christmas cards.

Ugh. Stop. Stop thinking about him.

5:31 a.m. - Sunday, May. 30, 2021