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Monday, Sept. 29, 2008 - 11:37 p.m.
GODDAMN IT!! So today totally sucked. I had a complete breakdown about halfway through my day. I'm still pretty upset over what happened yesterday with Ben. I'm totally stressed, but I was dealing with it. Or trying to anyway.

What brought me over the edge was that I ended up losing my cellphone at work. I had it with me when I went to work, and I thought I'd put it in my locker before I started, which is what I always do. But on my break I went to grab my phone and it wasn't there.

I searched everywhere for it. I had other people searching for it. But...nothing. I'm thinking that I may have thrown it out by accident. I was eating some banana bread which I'd brought with me and threw my garbage out. So...what with all the shit that's been on my mind, it's possible I threw it out. I talked to the woman who does maintenance and she told me that she had changed the garbage earlier, and that it was now in the compactor and there was no way to get it.

I just completely lost it after that. I burst into tears and couldn't stop crying. I sat in my bosses office for almost half an hour trying to calm down. My friend Heather even sat in the office with me for awhile.

I feel like shit.

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