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Monday, Apr. 07, 2008 - 7:57 p.m.
I am absolutely fucking tired of all this drama with Chad. Last night I ended up permanently deleting him and told him I never wanted to speak to him or hear from him again.

Lets start from the beginning. He moved to Alberta, that you all know, but what you don't know is that he told me that he missed me and that he wanted me there with him, and wanted me to come for a visit. I told him that I would not do anything until he was absolutely fucking sure that that is what he wanted. He told me that it was, so I went ahead and booked my trip. Booked the flight, $500 and booked the time off work.

Well....I am not going to Calgary now.

On Friday he has the goddamn nerve to fucking tell me that he doesn't want me there anymore and it wouldn't have worked out anyway. WHAT THE FUCK?! This is all because he met some girl on facebook and was going on a date with her yesterday. He even had the goddamn nerve to tell me I was hasty in booking my trip when it was HIS idea for me to visit! I feel so stupid. He broke my heart not once, but TWICE. He took advantage of me and strung me along, making me think there was still something there. I thought that the fact that he wanted me to come visit him was a good sign, that he still loved me and still wanted to be with. I was starting to feel so much better about myself.

I just can't believe this bullshit. I can't believe that after three years he would have the nerve to act this way towards me. Yet he is still telling me that he loves me and always will and still wants to be friends. He doesn't fucking deserve my friendship.

I just don't know what the hell to do. I just feel like complete shit and I feel so stupid. I finally see him for what he really is, but it's just too bad that it took me three years to figure that out and by then it was too late. He used me and he took advantage of me. He is insensitive, uncaring, and a liar. The three years that we went out, I did everything I could to make him happy, and this is how he treats me?? I would have fucking died for him.

I really don't want anything to do with him anymore. I deserve SO much better than him. It just hurts so fucking much that he decided to pull this shit with me. I don't even feel like I deserve a relationship or love. I'm tired of being hurt and having my heart broken. I just want to give up. Or maybe I should just go out and spread my legs, because that's all I'm fucking good for.

My birthday is next Sunday and I don't even fucking care. I don't care about anything anymore. I have nothing to look forward to.

If anyone wants to go out there and bootfuck him, I will not stop you, but you will have to get in line because there are quite a few people who want to kick his ass. I smiled a bit today after seeing my moms status on facebook, saying she wanted to castrate Chad.

He has also removed on facebook, but before he did that, he added the girl he went on a date with. I looked at his profile today and what a fucking surprise! He's fucking dating this bitch now.

I looked at her profile and she's some ugly fucking GOTH CHICK with black shit smeared on her face.

I sent him one last message on facebook telling him that he made his choice, and that I was making mine. I told him I was permanently blocking him on MSN and that I never want to talk to him or hear from him ever again.

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