Actual Answering Machine Messages:
1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
2. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money.If you are my bank, you
didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female,don't worry, I have LOTS of money.
3. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
4. Hello! If you leave a message,I'll call you soon.If you leave a "sexy' message, I'll call sooner.
5. "Hi! Now you say something."
6. "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."
7. "Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, a hot tub, or any subscriptions and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office. If you are still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."
8. "This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I will think about returning your call."
9. "Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up."
10. "Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
11. "Hi. This is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back."
12. "Hi. If you are a burgler, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message."
13. Hello, you've reached Rod and Lisa. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy.Lisa likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it side to side... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.